The Beat Before You React

Hi {{ first_name | friend }},

Most of these letters open with a scene from my own life. Today I’m handing the letter to someone else. I want you to meet Hugh, father, husband, and tech entrepreneur.

For eight weeks this spring, Hugh and I worked together. Afterward, he sat down with me to tell me, in his own words, what changed.

Those were Hugh’s first words about life before we started working together. Eight weeks later, he says, that seems to have largely ceased.

He came in with a second goal, too. His meditation had gone in cycles over the last 10, 15 or 20 years. He wanted to learn other approaches. He pointed out the irony himself: in the last month and a half he had meditated less than before and he was doing better.

Through all eight weeks, I noticed Hugh took action every week, in between sessions. He committed to the action step that came through in his HypnoBreathwork® journeys. Whether it shows in a small way or a very visible one, immediately or over time, actions like that change your reality.

For a while, Hugh turned his walks into a walking meditation with mantras.

“I feel like I’m doing less meditating now, slightly less meditating now than I was before, but maybe achieving more results. So I mean strange but good.”

Sleep, in his words, is “still an adventure.” The change he counts as the most positive one went straight back to the reason he came: he has “learned slightly better skills in terms of being patient” and is “not striking out when someone’s asking me to do something, when I’m doing something else.” He takes a beat instead.

“I definitely am proud of myself,” he said of those moments, when he notices he has stopped reacting in a way that’s hurtful to the relationship, the way he felt he did a lot before.

“I think it’s ultimately just being more conscious. Don’t say anything. Just step away.”

Stepping away, he told me, “will ultimately achieve a much better result.” He sees it as buying into a process. The result he named, more than once, was “significantly less feelings of impatience.”

Going in, Hugh expected more time on the mechanics of breathwork. He has heard of people reaching a state of euphoria through it and, as he put it, “I don’t feel that I’m there yet.”

For anyone on the fence about HypnoBreathwork®, his advice is short: “Give it a shot.” Aside from the investment of time and money, “there is no negative outcome here. It’s investing in yourself.”

He describes our time together as “a week by week process,” each session “covering something new,” with me “totally zeroed in on whatever my issues or problems or challenges were.”

Our eight weeks overlapped with one of the big conferences in Austin. While he navigated that reality, he found in our sessions “unconditional support, unconditional empathy, which was really valuable.”

A couple of sessions pivoted from my game plan to what was happening with him that week. He counted that as a good thing too. He would recommend it “absolutely,” because it achieved what he wanted it to. He liked having a defined commitment period.

“When I did do therapy, it was always like, what point do you break up with the therapist where you go, like, I’ve learned enough on this. And that always seems a bit awkward.”

At the end, he brought up a session we didn’t get to because of the pivoting, one that required finding a picture of himself as a kid. He had looked forward to it because of one question: “how does the little kid in you influence where you are as an adult or vice versa?”

Soon after, during a virtual group session entitled “Meet Your Inner Child,” Hugh reunited with the spontaneous, creative part of him that had never left.

This reflection comes from a real conversation. Hugh agreed to share his story so others in similar seasons could recognize themselves in it. Every coaching session is private and confidential.

Victoria Grandury
CEO & Founder, Limitless Rebel
LinkedIn